'north-western non-league team at home in the FA Cup 1st Round'
For five points:
- Jovial, optimistic pensioners looking for a bus.
- Former league striker with a point to prove.
- Man dressed as a viking in the bar before the game, honking a klaxon.
For ten points:
- Uncannily identical middle-aged couple who have chosen vigorous support of a footballing minnow in preference to having children. Because of this, they treat away games in the cup as particularly important parents evening or nativity plays.
- Home fans singing disparaging songs about visiting team's lowly/ semi-professional status (ie. 'Sunday league, Sunday league, Sunday league'/ 'Come in a taxi/ you could have come in a taxi'/ 'What's it like to see a seat'.)
- Overly confident home team wasting first half hour on Cruyff turns and fifty yard volleys.
- Home team becoming frustrated and forgetting how to play football.
For twenty points:
- Dawning realisation on part of home fans that lowly visitors have plundered a replay.
- Celebrating vikings, pensioners and childless superfans who know that the replay is likely to yield an upset.
I love English football.